So honestly let me be real, I used to be a Samsung girl for many years. I endured the abuse from my beloved iPhone users, the constant Snapchat comparisons (even now I still stand by the fact that the Samsung camera was and will always be better, but I digress). I say all this to say that I did not have any of these stupid storage problems back then.

But ever since I jumped on the iPhone bandwagon I have to say the storage issues have been the bane of my life. The constant need to delete apps, messages, photos, have often left me wanting to dash my phone, then I guess I remember who the hell I am, pick up my phone and make a claim on insurance (okay I joke, I’m not a criminal).

Let’s be real, there’s nothing worse than deleting most of your fricking apps just for it not to work and having to face the reality that Whatsapp has deemed you a criminal worthy of a life-long jail sentence because there’s no other explanation as to why even after deleting that many apps you’re still not allowed back onto your Whatsapp? Like seriously wtf?

So in the name of iPhone solidarity, I’m bringing you in on some things you can do other than the obvious (delete photos, cache etc) So let’s go:

Remove that Photo Stream Nonsense From Your Bloody Phone

I mean, this nonsense feature clearly isn’t for my fellow 16giggers (16GB) all it does is duplicate your photos. Well, that’s not all it does and it isn’t entirely useless but listen guys it’s not a necessity…if you want to share photos across all devices, just select the ones you want and email them to yourself because if you’re struggling to get space on your phone you definitely do not need two sets of the same photo on your phone.

Disabling this feature is as easy as 123. Go to Settings > Photos & Camera then scroll down to Upload to my Photo Stream and move the slider to the left. It will ask you if you’re sure because obviously they think you’re stupid but if you know you’re not daft, select Delete and keep it moving.

Trick your iPhone into creating space for you

Nowadays, it’s easy to think phones are smarter than humans, I mean with things like predicted text??? Can you honestly tell me you can spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious without it??? I admit I googled that, but no matter what end of the stupid spectrum you fall on I’m here to tell you that all hope is not lost.

Firstly make sure you have less than 7GB space on your phone, you can find this under the Available Storage section in Storage and iCloud in Settings. So what you will need to do is to attempt to rent a large movie on the iTunes store. Once you have done that select a large movie, a movie which is significantly larger than the space you have available on your phone. So lets say you only have 500MB of space available, selecting a movie which is around 6GB, should do the trick.

Once you click Rent, your phone will spend some time loading and will eventually inform you that there is “not enough available storage” for the download to take place. You’ll then be given the option to manage your storage in Settings, select the Settings button and you should see that you now have more available storage. You see? Tunde’s your uncle.

Delete text messages in one go

This is a simple but effective process which will almost immediately create more space on your phone but I know I know you probably don’t want to delete all of them and going through each individual message and deleting is not the one. So one great way of deleting messages that have been on your phone longer than a specified period of time is to follow these instructions here:

Go to your Settings then go to Messages > Keep Messages then select between 30 Days or 1 Year, once you do so it will give you the option to delete messages older than the selection you made and of course all you have to do is select Delete.

Delete photo editing app folders

 More often than not photo editor apps store your edited photos in an album in your photo gallery. That’s what they mean when they ask you for permission to access your photos other than to find out if you’re watching porn so they can report you to your mother. So go through all of those random photos and look out for duplicates or photos you thought you had deleted but are still stored in those albums.

Clear out some of your notes…

 I’m a bootleg songwriter so I make the most of the Notes app on my phone, what this means is that my notes take up a lot of space. What do you do in this case? Go through them, what notes have you sent elsewhere or have archived in your emails or written down, those can all go. Some you might have in your head, those can go too. Now isn’t the time for sentiment lmao, let go.

 Throw your phone in the bin

Another option which many rarely use is our God-given ability to simply walk over to the nearest bin and throw the damn phone inside, after which we can all proceed to live an email only life and maybe Skype on the odd occasion so as not to feel left out.

Never get a 16GB again.

Next time, I’m probably not going to get a 16GB. I don’t have time for it and I’m sure it doesn’t have time for me. Win, win.

Upload every single one of your million and one selfies onto Dropbox.

You can do this in one of two ways, you can either download the app but uploading thousands of pictures that way will slow down the process, your phone can probably handle 30-40 in one go without crashing. The only other way is to upload to your laptop and download Dropbox onto your computer then transfer photos from your phone to the Dropbox file. It does take time but it’s not as fiddly as the app. If you’re transferring from icloud just brace yourself the most annoying process ever, icloud no longer allows you to select all and transfer, you can only select individual albums. Also beware to delete your photos from All My Files if you’re using a mac because it will still be stored there even after you’ve deleted it from your photos album on your computer…if you don’t listen to me then you’ll soon be wondering why your computer is as slow as ever…so think about it, it’s either listen to Ebi or fling your laptop at the wall.

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